Classic Disney Wisdom - Be Yourself!

I always loved Disney’s Aladdin as a kid. One moral admonition in the film is the importance of being honest with who you are. Aladdin has convinced himself that Princess Jasmine has little interest in a “scoundrel” and is clueless that he has already won her over with his ‘street rat’ charm. Today I was reminded of why we should always be ourselves, for when I would have normally hid my feelings from my friend (for fear of reprisal), I received the very reassurance I was looking for.


Often times, we get too caught up in the cares of others to care about what we ourselves are doing. Becoming fearful that we might be rejected or dismissed by those close to us, we never truly divulge what our heart is telling us. Deep meaningful conversations are avoided in fear that our beliefs, opinions, and personalities will be judged – and rightly so. We live in a culture of comparison and judgment. We have become a shallow people, accustomed to expressing our opinions of what we think of others, but are afraid to express what we think about ourselves.

Take Sally for example. Sally loved to collect buttons and wanted to be a painter. Afraid to tell her friends about these things, she painted in secrecy, as her friends thought artists were “too dramatic” or “too crazy”. If her friends thought this about other people, wouldn’t they think she was also crazy?

Then there’s George. George had a particular fondness for antiques and never was very interested in sports like his other male colleagues. In order to dodge judgment, he kept up on all the latest stats of famous athletes, just so he’d have something to talk about with them. Soon the charade took its toll, and George became sullen and moody.
“But I could never tell them about how much I love 1920s Art Deco and Antique Bottles! They might think I’m fruity!” George thought.

Lastly there is Vanessa. Vanessa hated country music, but her new best friend Bianca, loved it. Wanting desperately for Bianca to like her, Vanessa went out and bought a few country albums and pretended to like them. After months of carrying on like this, Vanessa snapped at Bianca one day, for she wanted to listen to something different.
“What’s the matter?” said Bianca, “I thought you liked country music?”

It is my experience that these things make us unique – why would we want to hide it? However, there is also just cause if we suffer from a level of shame. I’m sure not all of us want our friends to know that we came from the streets like Aladdin, or really enjoy the smell of our own farts. Yet on a serious note, sometimes we have shame or guilt hidden in our past. Having committed an immoral act, we hide this part of ourselves until it rips us apart from the inside. If our friends are truly friends, then these things should be shared.



Perhaps it all boils down to that old fear of rejection. It’s normal for us wanting to feel accepted and we all want to fit in. Yet we must realize that friends who judge us because we might be different or have quirky hobbies are NOT your true friends. It is too futile a task to put on a mask everyday and pretend to be someone you are not. None of us can do it for long. My friend Mike taught me the first time we hung out together, to never be afraid of being who I am. He confessed that he never had a drink of alcohol in his life for he didn’t care for it. Here I was pretending I was allergic to it so my friends wouldn’t judge me for not wanting to drink.
“That’s bullcrap!” Mike said.
“Anyone who doesn’t like you because you don’t like getting drunk is an idiot and you shouldn’t be friends with them.”

If you are suffering from not being yourself and care too much about what others think, I suggest you try lifting up that mask today. Prepare to feel a hefty relief. Anyone of your friends that judge you for it, will not forgive you for your mistakes, or don’t like you when you’re feeling grumpy, well…

…I suggest you find new friends.

Take Time for Yourself - Don't Be an Impatient Turkey!

The following, is an excerpt from a journal entry I made yesterday, and I wish to share with you some insights that surfaced.

Friday, January 7th - 2011

When I woke this morning, a gentle snow was falling, dusting the world like a dessert covered in icing sugar. Today is a day for me, and I'll be taking a "poetic afternoon" – an afternoon dedicated to seeing things beautifully and the way I want to see them. Sweeping the dust bunnies out from under the bed, I’ve tidied my bedroom preparing for an afternoon of writing. I am relaxed today, but terribly warm. I opened my window a tiny bit to let the fresh cold and dense air creep into my room.

The wild turkeys outside are clucking away at an impatient pace, but I am at peace with myself today. No impatience for me. I don’t feel rushed to write, as I have set out to have the entire day to myself.

The words flow freely out from my pen when they want to. Downstairs, I can hear my mother taking down the Christmas decorations as it is time to start anew. I am very thankful for a new year. I am comforted to know it is set before me like a blank page, waiting to be written on. Starting today I will not forget my mantra of wanting to take more afternoons for myself, for I daresay they are needed.

When we take the time to spend an afternoon with ourselves, new ideas and insights may surface for us. Having taken the time to relax and be alone with my thoughts, I suddenly remember where I wanted to continue with various creative projects, or how I can fix a creative problem. While cleaning, I found some old drawings I had done back in highschool. It was humbling to know that when I thought I was making absolute garbage at the time, I took my own gifts for granted.

When we take an afternoon to do the things WE want, rather than the things we should, you’ll find the responsibilities we had waiting for us, aren’t as scary or overwhelming. I can remember a particular weekend in my younger years at University, when burden after burden seemed to spring up like wildfire. An essay here, a shift at work there, and two group projects due on the same day, I was overwhelmed. I took an afternoon for myself, and I suddenly had piercing clarity. I knew what responsibilities needed prioritizing, and what could wait.

Since then, I’ve made darned sure to set aside time for myself. We live in a society today where everything needs to ‘get done’ quickly. It becomes harder and harder living a fast paced life to take the time to sit down and savor each spoonful of cereal in the morning. We struggle to keep up with the “endless workload” so many complain about. No wonder people are left feeling exhausted and disgruntled heading into a new work week.

Taking an afternoon for myself gives me a new spring in my step, and I know it’ll do the same for you. Nothing can compare to time spent in personal reflection and relaxation. It doesn’t have to be an afternoon either. It can be in the morning, or after everyone else has gone to bed. What matters is that you MAKE the time, and It is my very humble suggestion, that you do so. Right now.

Worry: By "Definition" a Scarry Thought!

wor·ry
[wuhr-ee]

-v.i.
1. to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.
2. to move with effort: an old car worrying uphill.

-v.t.
3. to torment with cares, anxieties, etc.; trouble; plague.
4. to seize, esp. by the throat, with the teeth and shake or mangle, as one animal does another.

Okay, so I accept this post may seem a little silly but hear me out. Realizing not everyone shares my nerdy habits of looking up words in the dictionary on a daily basis, I stumbled upon a dramatic definition of the word "worry" in the dictionary app on my blackberry.

For the purposes of making my point effective, and because I think it'll be more fun or poignant!

4. to seize, esp. by the throat, with the teeth and shake or mangle, as one animal does another.

How very horrifying! I'd be worried if an animal "worried" me. Often times I find that speaking my worries to people catches me in the throat. I find more often than not that I tend to get a dry throat when I am truly nervous or worried about something. This is the rare occasion when I truly can't help myself.

3. to torment with cares, anxieties, etc.; trouble; plague.

To torment. Does this mean we might possibly use worry as a device to attack people emotionally? I certainly know it feels intrusive when other people try to create worry for me saying things like "are you SURE you want to do that?". Of course I'm sure! If I'm wrong than I make a mistake. So what! I learn from it!

Another word that pops up here is plague. Worry tends to be infectious. The more you get people to worry, the more it spreads like wildfire!

2. to move with effort: an old car worrying uphill.

God... doesn't that just sound awful?

1. to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.

Okay. I think I'm starting to get it. Why would I want to torment myself? I mean, I can see wanting to torment others, but doing it to myself is a whole other story!

The point I'm trying to make here is when you see this word by "DEFINITION" you realize there really is no place for this word in our lives. Sometimes worry can be a good thing, like intuition telling us when something is wrong. But most of the time it's a fruitless use of mental energy.

My friend Jason MacDonald always says that old quote "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere!" - sound advice indeed.

So don't let worry control your life, or you'll find yourself rocking yourself silly.

Negatifluenza - How to Fight the Common Cold-Hearted

Too often during the winter months, people come down with a bad case of what I like to call "Negatifluenza".

People proclaim their hatred for snow, or cold weather. They proclaim how much money they've lost buying Christmas presents or how awful it is having so many "family obligations" to attend. Don't be caught catching this bug. There are a few healthy precautions you can take, by following these 5 simple and easy steps.

Step 1) Cover your mouth when you complain.
Nothing is ever as bad as you think. Stop negativity before it spreads by not letting it escape your mouth.

Step 2) Wash your hands of other people’s problems.
Don’t let other people’s problems become a source of negativity for you. There’s nothing you can do about it, and making sure to keep clean from negatively infected people will give you peace of mind. We have enough problems of our own to think about.

Step 3) Get lots of rest.
It’s a lot easier to stay infected with negativity, when you are sleep deprived and a workaholic. Take time for yourself. Others will appreciate you more and you’ll have more energy to concentrate on the good things happening in your life.

Step 4) Take lots of multi-positive supplements.
A dosage of journaling, childhood photo reminiscing, or a good book is enough to get even the most positivity-deprived person back on track. A good movie or your favorite television program can help boost your happiness systems as well.

Step 5) Stay Positive.
Not letting negativity bother you is the best way to remain positive. More often than not, I find that people are using negativity or complaining about this or that to just 'have something to talk about' with other people. Why not change the topic to something good that has happened over the last few days? More often than not, a truly toxic person infected with Negatifluenza, will find a way to take this good news, and shower it in negativity.

Symptoms of being infected with Negatifluenza include complaining, lack of sleep, or using phrases like “Yeah…maybe that’s good for you, but it still doesn’t help my problem.”

This is a curable disease. Let’s fix this problem before it becomes a worldwide pandemic.

A Fresh New Look

Well I decided my blog needed a much needed face lift for 2011. One of the mandates for my new blog's direction, is found in my "about the author" description on the right hand column. My posts will be written to 'Upchuck" negativity, and put it where it belongs - in the trash~!

A New Year - Some Dumptruck Changes

2011 is hours away, and I had the uncontrollable urge to update my blog with some much needed information on how to move foreword into the new year.

First off, in the months since my last post, some significant changes have undergone in my life.

1) I completed my university education. Five and a half years of painful studying - struggling with perseverance and self discipline melted away the second I shook the university president's hand at the graduation ceremony. Framed on my wall, is my degree, 4 year double major in BA-Drama and Communications Media & Film Studies.

2) I found a job. Indigo books is the name of my employer, selling people an experience in literary arts. I love my new job albeit challenging and the early morning shifts aren't exactly delightful. However, it is my first work experience working with a staff that appreciates my energy, and enjoys having me as part of the crew. I can safely say that I'll enjoy my time there... and the discount on books.

3) I've learned to be happy with my time away from friends. Last year, a very dear friend of mine and I got into a big fight. It was a stupid fight, but a fight necessary for my own growth. I was obsessing over his friendship, and confused why he was pushing me away. Now I realize, it is because I suffocated him. It didn't help however, that he was an insufferable asshole who never thinks of anyone but himself, and doesn't show the glimmer of care the second something nice happens to you. That is however, beside the point.

I had to deal with my best friend Michael moving away to his NET ministries missionary trip across Canada. I must say that his departure has allowed me to complete a great many things, and gave me the opportunity to be happy with whoever I spend my time with. This lesson with both friends has taught me the gift of friendship, and when it's necessary to stand your ground when someone isn't treating you the way you deserve.

Posting these changes is necessary for me in this blog, as I am also posting to report a radical change in the format of how I'm going to be posting things.

- I may be moving to a different blog host. There are other websites where the formats and interfaces are much better, and I can create a blog more unique to my tastes.

- My blog's format will be changing a bit.

- I will no longer be posting about personalized license plates...as I found out it was illegal. I've since removed the pieces.

Overall, I want 2011 to be a year for me to grow. I want to explore new areas of my life, and become a better person. I don't want to wallow in negativity or sorrow whenever something remotely bad happens in my life. Focusing on the positive is a necessary part of moving on from the past.

Too often my attentions are brought to those who don't want to be around me. I can't see why because I'm such a fun an likeable person! Nevertheless, those that don't want to be with me, don't have to be. I don't care. The point of my blog is not to use it as a means to complain. Rather, I wanted to inspire people with my writing - to make the right choices in life. This has been my mission for years.

So from this day foreword, 2011 marks the Upchuck Dumptruck's official departure from negativity, to posts that inspire people to make better decisions.

Wishing everyone a happy new year!

---D.P.

Storytime with Daniel: "GETTING IN TROUBLE"

Gather friends, and I shall tell you a tale of rule breaking, and law enforcement.

Many people who know me, know I have a terrible irrational fear of authority. I live in fear that "I'm going to get into trouble". Commonplace for most, I was never the child who dared step out of line. I always followed the rules never once getting a detention. I managed to weasel my way out of trouble due to my untarnished reputation and adherence to the rules.

I shall now chronicle a few poignant stories in my life, which suffice to say, outline the ridiculousness of this way of thinking, and are stories that never manage to disappoint...

- "I'm allergic to ALCOHOL!" -

Fearing what may happen to one who drinks beer or wine, I always had the sneaking suspicion I was doing something wrong by imbibing alcohol. I was terrified to think of what might happen if I drunk underage! I would make up any excuse to avoid the awkward 'drinking' discussion I was frequently subject to during highschool. To this day I wonder how different my highschool experience would have been, had I not literally "run away" from my prom party, in fear of getting arrested for underage drinking.

When asked "Daniel, you've NEVER been drunk? Come on man! Live a little!", I'd simply reply "oh, I can't sorry, I'm allergic to alcohol, it ugh... the toxins affect my bloodstream and, I can't breathe!" - This abnormality made matters worse, as I'd repeatedly be asked about this odd allergic reaction. I carried this excuse with me well into first year university *sigh*

It did however make a startling turning point in my friendships, for one evening I just decided to have a drink. I just wanted to start 'living a little'. My friends jaws dropped when I revealed my cunning deceit...

(note: My father actually suffers from an alcohol allergy to red wine. Although I dare say he's never been tested for the merit of this allergy, and I have the sneaking suspicion the phrase "like father like son" might come into play.)

- The "Eat Everything On Your Plate" Police -

While dining with my friends Kyle, and Michael at Swiss Chalet, my fear of 'getting in trouble' embarrassingly surfaced. I ordered the "holiday chicken platter" which came with cranberry sauce, and stuffing! I however, did not want the cranberry sauce, so I ordered an extra serving of stuffing instead. The waitress was happy to alter the order.

The trouble arose however, when I was nearing the end of my feast, and could not finish the second helping of stuffing. Thus erupted my fear of "you're going to get into trouble!" as I took the opportunity to mush around the stuffing on my plate, making it appear that I had worked at it but could not finish it...

When asked what I was doing, I explained to my friends what I feared. Kyle and Michael being much cleverer than I, seized the opportunity to use this fear against me, and I found myself walking into a trap. I got up to go to the bathroom, and unbeknownst to me, while I was relieving myself, Kyle spoke with the waitress to thoroughly scold me for not finishing my stuffing after having asked for second helpings.

Needless to say, when I came back, my worst fears had been realized, and I found myself the blunt end of an unsavory joke. I do however, thank my friends for doing this, as it opened my eyes to the world of silly paranoia I was living.

- The Police Officer Will Arrest YOU -

This facet is one of the newer fears that has transfered into adulthood. No longer a sign of protection and safety, police officers will arrest you if you do something wrong! While camping with some friends last summer, Kyle and Monica got the wondrous idea to bring an empty bottle of whiskey in the car with us. Kyle made the wrong turn down a one way in a small southern Ontario town, and my heart raced tremendously as a COP caught us doing this, and pulled over Kyle. I was not worried about Kyle getting a ticket... No.... I was worried about the empty whiskey bottle sitting menacingly at my feet. I thought "What if he thinks we've all been drinking and driving! We're going to get arrested" ... when the officer smiled and nodded and let us leave, I breathed a sigh of relief, as my friends chuckled knowing how deeply I feared authority and breaking rules.

This particular fear however, follows me whenever police offers ask me a question, or talk to me. It makes for nerve-racking trips across the border with border crossing guards, as well as heart stopping moments, when I am stopped by a ride program, or traffic directing officers! What if I do something WRONG?

- The Lesson Learned -

I don't know where my accelerated heart rate comes from whenever I see a police officer strolling down the street... I don't know why I am suddenly stricken with a case of "DON'T DO THAT" in completely superfluous circumstances. Perhaps it is the intuitive assumptions of my blessed mother, who unfortunately being an alarmist was one of her less endearing qualities.... This lead my sister and I as children to always stick firmly to rules, and health conscious actions in order to avoid the 'repercussions' of straying on a different path.

However, this story is not without a grain of morality. For I did not stray into addictive drugs, or alcohol abuse. I've managed to keep a clean record of all wrongdoings (aside from several speeding tickets, to which I will write about another time). So I thank my mother for being the 'safe path' treading warrior she is, always being careful to spot potential dangers that might arise.

I however, intend to "live a little" embracing the 'daredevil' tendency to try new things, and break a few rules now and again.

(GASP... what if the internet police see me typing this?)